Complete & Unadulterated
The Naughty Early Years - Set 3

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1. Benny Quickie: Escaped Irish Convicts
2. All-Time Favorites
3. Benny's Ballad: Beach of Waikiki
4. Gavin Blod: The Man & His Music
5. Benny Quickie: Irish Unemployed
6. Lee Gibson: The Moment of Truth
7. "Long, Dry Summer" by Tennessee Robbins
8. Newer Faces
9. Closing: Fruit Stand (not in the menu)

We're then treated to a biography of the life of a great musician in the bio-pic, Gavin Blod: The Man & His Music. Another "cradle-to-the-grave" send-up. Look for Diana Darvey, Lee Gibson as well as Benny playing many different characters, one of his specialties. Henry McGee is the narrator. Benny & Jackie Wright then appear in Benny Quickie: Irish Unemployed, then Benny introduces Lee Gibson: The Moment of Truth. Gibson is a dynamic singer and even scats a bit in this bossa-nova style tune. Today, Gibson is a highly acclaimed jazz singer and music teacher. Her remaining appearances (after this and the next show) in the series (1978-81) were as a bit player and/or extra in silent sketches and did not utilize her tremendous vocal talents. A fun little number.

Next is another classic, "Long, Dry Summer" by Tennessee Robbins with Benny as the daughter to Stella Moray, with Jackie Wright as the "gentleman caller". Although racist and politically incorrect, Bob Todd is hilarious as the black handyman, Lester. Next is Newer Faces, with Benny as the nasally-challenged host of a talent competition. Benny then leads the "versatile bentwoods" as a family of talented performers, including Jackie Wright as a whistler, Diana Darvey as "Vera" who "loses something" when dancing. Stella Moray is hilarious as a bad singer singing "Let Yourself Go", Benny performing as a ventriloquist, a magician, a balloon toy maker and as a strong man with Lee Gibson, Samantha Stevens, Jackie and Henry. Finally, the acts are rated by a panel of judges all played by Benny.

The show rounds out with the Closing: Fruit Stand as Benny plays an angered Fruit Stand owner whom just about everyone steals his fruit. You'll see Bob Todd, Samantha Stevens, Stella Moray, sexy Diana Darvey, Lee Gibson and Bill Weston as the holdup man. Three sexy policewoman chase Benny, whom I believe are Diana Darvey, Lee Gibson and Samantha Stevens. A fun program to get things started.

1. Benny Quickie: Mighty Deodorant for Men
2. Some More All-Time Favorites
   Benny's Ballad: The Rose of El Paso (not in the menu)
3. The Art of Rolf Harris
4. Fred Scuttle: Thames Television Producer
5. Benny Quickie: A Racing Cert?
6. Diana Darvey: It's Nice to Go Trav'lin
7. Great Mysteries with Orson Buggy: The Catch
   Benny Quickie: It's Me! (not in the menu)
8. Film Talk With King of the Kung Fu Cult, J. Arthur Mein
9. Midnight in Soho
10. Closing: Dimpton Health & Sun Club

Next, and mistakenly not marked with it's own chapter is Benny's Ballad: The Rose of El Paso. Benny sings of his love for the "Rose of El Paso" with Diana Darvey & Lee Gibson looking sexy, with Bob, Jackie & Henry as his backup band. The Art of Rolf Harris features Benny as the famous Australian outback expert giving a blow-pipe demonstration that isn't too good for Lee Gibson, but for which the guys are all too willing to be of help! This chapter is actually a series of running gags, including a quickie with Benny & Patrick Newell and another Rolf Harris gag with Rolf getting into trouble with Samantha Stevens. Fred Scuttle: Thames Television Producer features an interview by Henry McGee with Fred Scuttle. (Look for a brief shot of Samantha Stevens). Scuttle gives insight into upcoming programming. Lots of great gags in this one. Scuttle then treats us to a barbershop scene with Benny and Henry McGee as the barbers, Jackie Wright & Patrick Newel as customers, Anna Dawson as the manicurist with Diana Darvey as Jackie's date & Bob Todd as a street cop.

In Benny Quickie: A Racing Cert? Patrick Newell talks to a disheartened Benny who has lost it all at the races. Then we get a special treat. Benny introduces Diana Darvey: It's Nice to Go Trav'lin. Diana wears several different costumes and sings of the life of travelling across the world to exotic locales. It's sexy, sweet and always great to see Diana perform. A very gifted entertainer. Great Mysteries with Orson Buggy: The Catch begins with Benny as the overweight version of the hollywood legend, Orson Welles. He introduces Ernest Potts as a gang leader who finally hits on "the perfect crime" in "The Catch", which features, Benny, Jackie, Bob & Henry as a gang of thieves. They bring in Diana Darvey as their accomplice and swindle Patrick Newell who is the bookie. Anna Dawson is also the woman who runs the hotel which Benny and Diana stay at. Look for Diana adjusting her garter and Benny losing his cool when he gets near her. A classic sketch and the highlight in this program.

This chapter also ends with Benny Quickie: It's Me!, which is not in the menu. Bob Todd tries to get Benny to recognise him. Next, Film Talk With King of the Kung Fu Cult, J. Arthur Mein features Henry McGee interviewing J. Arthur Mein, kung Fu director, produce & star of his own Kung Fu pictures. Benny uses his Chow Mein shtick in this one with plenty of sexual entendres. Then we're treated to a look at his film "Behind The Bamboo Certain". This one features Benny as the Kung Fu Hero, with Bob Todd, Jackie Wright & Earl Adair as his mortal enemies. Lee Gibson is the beautiful girl that Benny must save from the brutes. Look for a brief shot of Diana Darvey (in a wig) in a cart being pulled by Jackie Wright. Midnight in Soho features a night club with Benny singing "Love For Sale", which will later appear in a "Pan's People" (April 25, 1979) routine. Look for the whole cast in this segment, including, Diana Darvey, Jackie Wright, Bob Todd, Henry McGee, Anna Dawson, Earl Adair, Samantha Stevens, Patrick Newell, Lee Gibson singing "You stepped out of A Dream"; then there is a knife fight ending with Benny's death. A fun number. We then end with Closing: Dimpton Health & Sun Club which features Benny at a health club and the usual chase to the end credits.

1. A Host of Your Favourite Stars
2. Benny Quickie: Irish Milkman
3. The Dream Makers: Clyde Jarrow
4. Eddie Buchanan: Going Nowhere
5. There's Something 'Bout You Baby I Like!
6. Benny Quickies: Professional Men!
7. The Stamp Collector
8. The Golden Shot (beginning)
9. Benny Quickies: Professional Men, Too!
   a. The Golden Shot (conclusion)
   b. Record Shop
   c. Benny The Boxer
10. Tex Cymbal: Golden Boy
11. Closing: Safari Park (not in the menu)

Next up is Eddie Buchanan: Going Nowhere, a performance that I enjoy more now than when I was younger and seems to have more truth to it now than when it was first performed I'll bet. The late Buchanan was a strong vocalist who passed away in 1987. Then Mr. Scuttle, with Don Estelle (Jackie Wright's replacement), Henry McGee and Stella Moray appear to offer their services to Eddie as a backup group in There's Something 'Bout You Baby I Like!. Naturally, their terrible! Then we see a short film with Eddie singing the same tune with Scuttle and the gang as backup. Benny plays a girl-chaser while as a handy-man, wacking people with a long plank as he spins around to eye the girls as they go by; accidentally putting the moves on Don Estelle on a park bench; spilling water and spraying ink on Libby Roberts chest as he checks into a hotel; playing waiter to Don Estelle and the lovely Jeannie Collings, as well as Henry McGee. We also get a sexy view of Debbie Greenhill's posterior while Henry McGee gets a bite out of Benny's hand as a sandwich! Benny then goes to Dibble's Health Farm: there is a running gag that runs throughout the show with Benny boxing with a training ball. There are also plenty of lovelies here as he grabs Libby Roberts butt thinking it's a ball, jumping on a horse, crushing his family jewels and playing tennis. Jeannie Collings even paints Benny's portrait. Benny also takes Cherri Gilham for a ride in his car, which of course runs out of gas! When his moves on Cherri don't work, he simply pulls Libby Roberts out of the trunk!

We start Benny Quickies: Professional Men! with Benny giving Flu Injections to everyone in the arm, except for Libby Roberts! We then move to a bus stop scene, where Benny & Henry use the handles of their umbrellas as puppets. Very clever! Cherri Gilham uses a ladies cane to enter the scene; waiting for the bus, Benny & Henry lift her skirt, making the bus crash! Next, The Stamp Collector features Benny as a young man in a bar who is drugged by Stella Moray (look for Cherri Gilham as the waitress) and dragged to her apartment, taking Benny as prisoner. Stella Moray is great as the older woman and this sketch is very much like The Hitch Hiker with Patricia Hayes. But that doesn't make this one any less fun. Next is what appears to be a parody of a game show called The Golden Shot. This Chapter is then concluded at the beginning of the next chapter, Benny Quickies: Professional Men, Too! with Don Estelle looking to buy a record from Benny, followed by another fast-motion clip of Benny boxing with the training ball.

Tex Cymbal: Golden Boy is a Benny tour-de-force with Benny as a famous british teen idol, Tex Cymbal ("Sex Symbol") and is a documentary hosted by Benny as Michael Parkinspace (a pun on the name of British cast-show host Michael Parkinson). We start with Parkinspace interviewing Benny abut his fame and career and then we see a kind of "rockumentary" complete with the "in-depth" look at the star and his thoughts. There is an interview with Freda Drunge (Benny, as his old school teacher), and Arthur Primm (Benny again); then a look at Tex in the studio. He sings, drinks three beers, makes love to three backup singers (Libby Roberts and two others I'm not sure of) and collapses all to the tune of "Gentle On My Mind". Look for Eddie Buchanan, Jeannie Collings and Henry McGee as backup musicians. Benny also plays Tex's mother and his brother (who really hates Tex). Benny plays a young teenage girl at a rock festival who just can't control her own bodily functions. Then we get to see Tex's appearance on "The Old Grey Whistle Tester" with Benny as the deep-voiced host, as well as playing "Hank Key"; we then see Tex in his appearance on top of the pops singing "Lonely Boy", complete with Henry McGee as his keyboard player, Eddie Buchanan as his drummer, with Don Estelle and Stella Moray on guitars and Libby Roberts as a dancer. Then in what predates MTV by five years, a video of Tex Cymbal with Jeannie Collings in a long white dress that gets torn off! Truly, the highlight of this episode.

Then the Closing: Safari Park (not in the menu) features a street scene with Libby, Henry, Jeannie Collings (police woman), Don Estelle (as a priest), Debbie & Benny with a store mannequin; this leads to Benny getting chased on an ostrich, ending this excellent program. This show was actually postponed from it's original airdate (May 26, 1975) but a technician's strike virtually blacked out the entire ITV network. The show was broadcast in it's eventual September date as a "postponed from an earlier date" format. Libby Roberts' appearance in this show also paved the way for the eventual appearance of "Love Machine". An article on www.sueupton.net explains the whole deal.

1. Benny Quickie: Don't Jump!
2. Another Host of Your Favourite Stars!
   Benny's Ballad: Lulubelle (not in the menu)
3. Pearl & Plain Shopping Centre
4. Is There Anything In It? Fred Scuttle: The Mind Reader
   Benny Quickie: Just Raped! (not in the menu)
5. Some Quickies on The Dance Floor
6. Jack & Jill: Variations on a Theme
7. Benny's Mexican Cabaret
8. Benny Quickie: Dribble's Sights of London Tour
9. The New Vicar: A Monologue
10. Benny Quickies: Too Late!
11. Dilys Watling: That Ain't No Way to Treat A Lady
12. El Paso
13. Closing: Sports Day

Then we're treated to a classic tune from the series, Benny's Ballad: Lulubelle which is not marked as it's own chapter in the menu. Benny sings with his best W. C. Fields impersonation about Lulubelle, the girl of his dreams. Just watch Leanne Robinson blow a whistle and lift her skirt to click her knees together and Jackie Wright blow a duck call. The best is when Leanne shakes the bells on her tassels! Benny then introduces Pearl & Plain Shopping Centre, an advert for sporting goods. Look for a redhead (Monika Ringwald?) in a sexy bikini or Lorna Nathan tap-dancing & performing ballet with Benny as a dance instructor. I'm not sure who the blonde girl he dances with is. Monika Ringwald also buys a car from Benny which falls apart as she drives away! Next, Henry McGee looks at mind-reading & clairvoyance as he interviews Fred Scuttle in Is There Anything In It? Fred Scuttle: The Mind Reader. Scuttle introduces Jackie Wright, "Prince Me-botty" as his partner who comes out to give a demonstration. Lots of fun in this one!

This chapter ends with Benny Quickie: Just Raped! (not in the menu) with Dilys Watling in a panic running into Benny's office telling him she was just raped. Watch what Benny says and Dilys' reaction! Next is Some Quickies on The Dance Floor featuring a ballroom scene with several cast members moving around and in front of the camera with plenty of great jokes. Look for Benny with Lorna Nathan, Jackie with Dilys Watling and Leanne Robinson. I think that's Eddie Buchanan in drag, too. Lots of really good jokes in this one.

Next is Jackie Wright and Leanne Robinson singing the tune of "Jack & Jill" with Henry McGee introducing the concept of TV programs using that very story in their series in Jack & Jill: Variations on a Theme. First, "At The Crossroads" with Jackie Wright as wheelchair bound husband to Benny in drag as the parents of "Jill". Then, in "That's Life" features Benny (in drag) with Eddie Buchanan and Henry McGee in a panel show. Benny introduces Cyril Fletcher who reads a poem about Jack & Jill. Next is the brilliant parody of "Kojak" with Benny in bald cap and sucking the lollipops! Benny also plays his own spaced-out partner, Detective Stavros, calling him "Meathead". In the actual series, Stavros was played by Savalas' real-life brother George, originally credited as "Demosthenes". Henry McGee is Crocker. Jackie Wright the stool-pigeon and Dilys Watling as Jill. Truly a standout moment in this episode.

Next is Benny's Mexican Cabaret featuring Benny and Jackie Wright accompanying Eddie Buchanan. The sexy dancer is Lorna Nathan, apparently doing the kind of dancing Diana Darvey did while she was on the show. Benny continue to tell a stream of great jokes and one-liners to Jackie. Really, a classic moment. Benny Quickie: Dribble's Sights of London Tour is a quickie with some men in drag leaving a washroom. Then Benny performs a monologue in The New Vicar: A Monologue with Benny telling the story of the New Vicar asking the town squire for donations. There's lots of great word-play, so just use your imagination.

In Benny Quickies: Too Late! we start with Dilys Watling helping Benny (in drag) with her problems as a single parent; Benny in front of a firing squad; Dilys Watling as wife to Benny; Benny as Dennis Hilley, (a pun on Denis Healey, who at the time of this broadcast was Chancellor of the Exchequer who was involved in wage and price freezes, tax hikes, etc.) as a banker with a strange physical quirk and introduces Dilys Watling: That Ain't No Way to Treat A Lady. Ms. Watling sings a love song about the end of a relationship. She has a unique voice and is really a much better singer than one would think. I wish the song was a little better. This was also Helen Reddy's last Top 10 Hit in 1975 and Dilys actually sings it in the same key, B flat.

In El Paso, Benny plays a western cowboy. Plenty of Benny's classic gags here. Claire Ruane is the older lady he falls in love with. Jackie Wright is his rival. Henry McGee is the bartender. There is plenty of fast gags with Eddie Buchanan singing the tune "El Paso" made famous by, I believe, Marty Robbins. Music Clearance issues may be what kept this sketch from being aired in Syndication. Another great silent segment. Benny then says goodnight and the program closes with Closing: Sports Day, with many of the regulars, as well as Monika Ringwald & (I think) Lorna Nathan as athletes. Watch Jackie Wright get a javellin in the chest, or Benny wearing a huge wig as a runner; watch Lorna Nathan, Monika Ringwald and Jenny Westbrook help Benny run faster by exposing themselves and running ahead of him. It all ends with the classic chase and ends this fun program.

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